Top 6 ways to spend the week 'tapering' for the Tarawera ultra 100km

Tapering for an ultra is both my most favourite and most hated thing to do...mostly because by the time it actually gets to the point where I should be tapering, I've really only just started training. Pretty much every race I do I arrive on the start line half baked and undertrained, but hey, at least I'm not coming in with over-use injury strains right?! Anyway, I'm told more than half the battle of running an ultra is in the mind. My mind is like a god-damned steel trap, I have the mental thing nailed. Pity my legs don't always get the message though...

At any rate, by the time taper week comes around I'm invariably panicking about the lack of training I've done and feverishly plotting how to squeeze in an extra long distance run or strength session, and still fit in time to technically rest the legs prior to a big event. Tapering for me is all about swinging between blissful relaxation and bouts of manic energy...usually several times in one day. If nothing else it's entertaining to watch.

This week was no exception, so I thought I would share with you my favourite tapering activities especially catered to the upcoming Tarawera 100km ultra.* Most of these 'tips' admittedly have had next to no benefit in improving my running 'prowess', but jeez I've had a blast and that's the whole point.

#1: Sleep in. Oh God, the sheer bliss of not jerking bolt upright to the tinny sounds of my phone alarm. That jaunty jingle that I thought would make waking up at the crack of dawn more pleasant has not been missed. In fact the urgent need to heave the phone through the nearest window at 5am in the morning has completely disappeared. Funny that.

#2: Carb up with a guilt-free double-egg and bacon roll for breakfast. Actually I think this one should be done at least every second day just for the feel-good mental health benefit. You might have to run a marathon distance every week to make up for it but its totally worth it. Fitness be damned this is the real reason why I run. It's even better when your long-suffering other half cooks it for you.

#3: Dig a big hole. Seriously...there was method to this madness. We were at Hot Water Beach in NZ where fissures bubble up piping hot mineral-rich water to the surface. Bring your own spade, and at low tide dig like you're about to move to China to form your own personal thermal spa pool. Be warned though, the water can get pretty hot and so can your ass if, like me, you choose to sit directly on top of a fissure. This part not recommended. Take a bucket to fill your pool with cool ocean water now and then. Then sit back and laugh at all the other idiots doing the same thing.

Digging like a lunatic at Hot Water Beach will help alleviate taper-madness symptoms. 

#4: Drink oodles of water. I drank litres of the stuff and spent the rest of the day (and night) running to the toilet like an incontinent geriatric. Such fun. Try not to confuse hotel wardrobe with bathroom door at 3am though...trust me your mind is not equipped at that hour to deal with an unexpected excess of clothes-hangers when all you desperately want is a loo RIGHT NOW.

#5: Head for the 'Lost Spring' on the Coromandel Peninsula and take an hour to enjoy the thermal pools there. Soak those hard working feet and legs, and savour the feeling of pain free pins 'cause this is one of the last times they'll feel that way for a while. When it all gets a bit too hot take a dip/shower under the waterfall in the pool at the front...and pretend that you had no idea it was for ornamental purposes. After all, how was I to know? Yes it was a little more awkward to clamber in but it wasn't like there were signs saying 'no swimming' now were there?!!

#6: Stand in the crater of an active volcano...'cause if that doesn't kill you then neither will an ultra. Actually the sulfur will help you 'acclimatise' to the Rotorua natural surrounds, which I'm told, can be pretty stinky. Plus this was a seriously spectacular way to kill a day AND the taper crazies for at least another 12hrs. You get bonus points if a dolphin pod come out to play with the boat on the way to the volcanic island. 

Centre crater of White Island volcano located offshore from Whakatane

Now if none of these activities actually help me on race day at least I can rest easy knowing that if I fall flat on my face in the first kilometre (a moderate-high chance), I'll know that half the fun has already been had dragging my sorry ass to the start line. I'm ready...bring it on!

*please do not take any of this advice as being actually beneficial in anyway for running an ultra. Some of it might help, but I assure you this is by pure accident and not design

Tarawera Ultra 100km: The prequel

Last night we flew into Auckland and in less than one day I'm convinced the whole town has a serious drinking problem. Admittedly it was a Saturday night but how was I to know that the NRL Rugby Nines, a two day knock out rugby league competition was in full swing?!

So there we were, innocently strolling down the main drag of Auckland and we're hit with an avalanche of a very peculiar brand of kiwi enthusiasm loosely centred around the game of rugby but mostly centred around beer. Lots of it. Oh, and strange costumes. Everywhere we looked the streets were full of howling, swaying, weaving and hollering men and...err...ladies dressed in a variety of themed costumes that ranged from the traditional pirate and policemen get up to gangs of 'escaped prisoners', cartoon characters and superheroes. And I do mean gangs, apparently it's not the kiwi way to individually dress up, here you get together a group of friends, and all dress up in exactly the same costume to go out drinking...I've heard of wearing team colours but this really takes the concept to a whole new level.

Apparently you can also add speed to your fun by throwing in a tuk-tuk style bicycle for two, piling all six of your drunken pirate friends into the back seat and shouting mush to to poor driver-pedaler whilst singing a rousing chorus of...well something musical but ultimately incoherent and loud. Looked liked fun and honestly, 10/10 for enthusiasm, just not talent.

I'm not sure what it all had to do with the rugby league comp but its the only link I can conceive of. Unless (shudder), this is just a normal Saturday night and the costume hiring business is about to start franchising and get listed on the NZ stock exchange.

So write it up to Saturday night madness, I thought. Wrong. Sunday morning and the place is in full swing. Again. At 9am. Pubs are open, jugs of beer are going round and I'm watching in quiet bemusement as a troop of ladies in Hannibal Lector masks stagger by looking for the hair of the dog. This is what the end-of-days must look like with beer thrown in. I think I've now seen it all until a man dressed as a mushroom limps by on crutches. He's accompanied by a walking banana but I doubt this one would get within 10m of Playschool's doors. Must've been a good night and now they're making me hungry. Mmm...breakfast.

So what does this all have to do with ultra-running? I'm not sure but I had to share the surreal experience. Or maybe its just an example of how one person's madness is another's pleasure, which pretty much sums up the world of ultra running to those who do it, and those who watch in befuddled bemusement at the sheer idiocy of people who run (or in my case run-walk-stagger) 100km for fun. And pay for the privilege. Now you'll have to excuse me as I have to go find a mushroom suit to run my 100km race in this coming Saturday. After all, when in Rome...